S.A.S.S (Stupid Ass Sales Strategy)

This month’s award goes to the Hyatt at Vineyard Creek in Santa Rosa who has a breakfast ordering system that is second to none in stupidity.

1. You choose your selections and place it on the door like any other hotel. The hanger specifically reads to place it outside before 2AM.
2. You are invited to choose a delivery time starting at 6AM and they ask that you honor a 15 minute delivery window.

That’s where the trouble begins!

This morning at 5:45AM I open my door to collect a newspaper and find that the selection card has not been taken! The front desk staff informs me that he is on his way to get them now.

I ask: “How am I supposed to get my order at 6AM if they are only picking them up now?”

Front desk: “The card says to respect a 30 minute pick up window.”

Me: “No. It says 15 minutes and that I can have a delivery at 6AM.”

Front desk: “Room service opens at 6:30AM.”

Me: “Why do you tell people they can order for 6AM?”

Front Desk: “I don’t know. Good point.”

Me: “Why was the card not picked up at 2AM?”

Front desk: “We don’t have anyone working at 2AM.”

Me: “Can I suggest that you align what you actually do, with what you tell your guests you do?”

This is the perfect way to delight your customers and create repeat business and referrals…just kidding. So much frustration, all before I’ve even had my morning coffee!

To be fair, the staff was helpful and they did get my order delivered quickly. My trouble was in the completely disconnected process that management has allowed.

“Say what you will do, and do it exactly the way you said you were going to” is a key premise of my first book Honesty Sells and this is a sure way to delight your customers.

When was the last time you checked your written communications with clients and ensured they were in alignment with how you actually conduct business?